Not the Rock Column

Keith Richards (since when is his name plural?) and Sid Vicious are two folks you'd be reading a lot about in The New York Times lately, if there were a New York Times. There isn't, but their names are still news. This has not been a good week for 21-year-old Sid of the Sex Pistols. His cat is dead, his girlfriend is dead, he tried to kill himself, and he is suspected of being guilty on all three counts. I have the feeling his name won't help his cause, either.

Keith Richards, on the other hand, is much better off. He pleaded guilty for heroin possession up in Canada last Tuesday, and got off with a year's probation and orders for the Stones to play a benefit for Canada'a blind people (I bet Canadian sales of dark glasses and canes triple). Some judge. As a friend of mine says, he showed a little "sympathy for the junkie." It's comforting to know that Canada is now the place to go not only to dodge the draft, but to do serious drugs.

Unless you have a quick connection to Toronto, you'll have to settle for the concert offerings around these parts, which aren't bad at all. Still number one on everyone's list should be the Grateful Dead, who will be at the Music Hall on Nov. 13 and 14. Sorry for sending you out in the rain last time to get tickets when they weren't on sale yet (silly me), but they should be on sale by the time you read this. Actually, they should be sold out. Too bad, you missed it.

Aw, you didn't feel like going all the way into Boston anyway, did you? Especially when there's so much to offer right here in Cambridge. If you wait until Nov. 17, you can see Grover Washington, Jr. at the Harvard Square Theater. If you hide in the balcony overnight, you can see Tom Waits and Leon Redbone the following evening. For free (otherwise it'll cost you $8.50). From Nov. 9-12 you can catch Stormin' Norman and Suzy at Passim. For those of you who are into Balkan-American Folk Music (fees up, I know you're out there somewhere) Laduvane willbe coming to Passim on Nov. 1. And on Nov. 5, Jonathan Swift's will host the guy who did "Michael Row Your Boat Ashore," the "legendary" Bob Gibson. (I hear a disco version is in the making at this very moment).

But that's not half of it! First of all, I'm going to plug a group, sight unseen and sound unheard, mainly because the lead singer went to the trouble of coming all the way to Leverett House to give me free tickets to their show (which, by the way, is at the Paradise on Oct. 26). They're called Private Lightening. I don't get it, but go see them anyway. Also coming to the Paradise are the David Johansen Group on Oct. 27, Blondie on Nov. 3-4, and Dr. John on Nov. 6. It looks like Nick Lowe and Rockpile cancelled out, and boy am I bummed.

An extra show has been added to the Talking Heads' appearance at the Berklee Performance Center on Nov. 4. An extra show has also been scheduled by Donna Summer at the Music Hall on Oct. 30 and 31. Speaking of disco queens. Grace Jones will host a Halloween celebration this Saturday evening at the Chateau de Ville in Framingham. I don't know much about her, and even less about Framingham, but I seem to recall a photo of her, six feet tall with a shaven head, bursting into a disco on a motorcycle. Something like that. Should be interesting, anyway, considering it wasn't even Halloween then.

Remember "Temptation Eyes?" Well, the Grass Roots are back in town, playing Lucifer from Oct. 23 through Nov. 5. Why they're playing at a disco I'll never figure out. The last time they were heard from, disco hadn't even been invented yet.

Finally, I hate to be one to say "I told you so," but what's the word on the tip of everybody's tongue after "sociobiology"? You guessed it. DEVO. Canada. Think about it. Are we not, then   Laura Levine