So You Wanted Controversy?

I think I may have started something with my column on Saturday. Not only did The Globe pick up on the idea, but all of you readers out there seemed to enjoy and talk about it more than my numerous other athletic anecdotes this year.

So what we have now is a basic problem. It's not facing Satch or walking into the IAB alone at night, believe me, I can handle that.

My new dilemma is that you all expect me to write controversial stuff all the time now and save the witty comments for my lunch buddies in Quincy House that can stand listening to me.

At any rate, we're all in luck for the moment. We're nearing the end of the winter sports seasons and some great "inside" incidents, controversies and revealing confrontations are coming out into the open. I'll be a nice guy and let you in on these choice tidbits of scandal first:

Item #1: Joe Restic--Marriage on the Rocks? Sources tell this reporter that things aren't going too well for the Milford couple. It seems that two weeks ago at supper Mrs. Restic took over 30 seconds to clear the table and serve her husband dessert. She was promptly slapped with a "Delay of Nutrition" penalty of 15 yards.

Restic, after studying films of the dinner last weekend, told reporters that "These penalties are really killing us. She's just taking too long to set up."

Mrs. Restic did not feel that the incident was her fault, responding, "I just don't understand his multi-flex system of eating; first he'll tell me that he wants a single wing of chicken, and after I've cooked the thing he changes his mind and wants split-t-boned steak."

Item #2: Baseball star reveals unknown incurable disease: Harvard first baseman Peter Bannish disclosed today that he played all of last season while suffering from a sickness to which modern science has no cure.

Bannish described the ailment to reporters today, saying "It used to come to me like clockwork every Sunday morning. I'd wake up really dizzy with my head pounding like a construction company building a new wing on Lamont.

"My mouth would feel like cotton and my stomach like it was in a huge knot. Luckily the symptoms usually went away by dinnertime, only to come back right on schedule in a week's time." Bannish is currently being observed on an out-patient basis at Brigham's.

Item #3: Joe Beaulieu, Switching Sports? It seems that once again there is speculation as to whether the 6'11" freshman basketball star will be playing varsity baseball this spring for the Crimson.

Beaulieu admitted last week that although he has received many calls from baseball coach Loyal Park asking him if he would want to be the left field foul pole this season, he said, "I haven't really committed myself yet."

Item #4: Hockey goalies, coach reach boiling point: Reserve varsity netminders Jack Hynes and Brian Murphy are now in Coach Billy Cleary's doghouse. The two freshmen got involved in a rattail flicking, tape-throwing donnybrook in the locker room the other day. The fracas represented a culmination of the competitive hostilities between the two all season, hostilities which began when Hynes put sneezing powder in Murphy's mask in an earlier game.

Coach Cleary lamented to the press yesterday that he will be forced to go with Brian Petrovek in the cage for the remainder of his squad's games this year.

Well, I've exhausted myself combing the campus for all these hot scoops, so is it all right if next week I start writing silly stuff in my columns again?