Big Green

Don't look so glum. After all, you've just been spared the first page of this article which I wisely decided to trash because it made little sense. The rest of this article will be perfectly coherent.

You can tell that Dartmouth is going to be in town this weekend for a football game, just by looking at any schedule of Harvard sports. There are other indications of the impending invasion from the North. The leaves are turning to yellow and red, a natural reaction for the Cambridge trees, which want to have no connection with the Big Green.

Of course, the best thing about this weekend is that the people from Hanover are taking the whole thing very seriously. The editors of the "Dartmouth" are sending two crack reporters to Cambridge to get an idea of what Harvard is like before the Crimson and Big Green clash. I've already written their first few paragraphs:

Cambridge, Mass.--Harvard football revelers by the hundreds paraded into Lamont Library last night at 8 p.m. to take out reserve books over night.

On the second floor, the water flowed like beer, as crazed students took momentary breaks from their Economics reading, and on the third floor, there was not a seat to be found, making the huge hall resemble Fenway Park during the World Series...

Don't start laughing yet because the funny comedy gags are yet to come. Speaking of cross country, the men will be dueling Dartmouth at 4 p.m. Friday at Franklin Park, which is, as most of you remember from last week, next to the zoo. A half hour before the men run, the women are going to run at the same place.

Hey, let's talk about soccer. Harvard will play Dartmouth Friday afternoon at 3:30 p.m. at the Business School Field. And if I finish my Fine Arts 13 paper on time, I'll be-there to change my shirt at the half.

Saturday morning we're talking about rugby and field hockey. The fun begins at about 9:30 a.m. when the Crimson ruggers take on Dartmouth for three games. Those games are played behind the tennis courts.

At 11 a.m., the field hockey team will try to repeat last year's upset victory against Dartmouth. Lat year's one-goal win was the first the women had scored against Dartmouth in a long time. As usual, this game will be played on Soldiers Field.

In the afternoon there is the matter of a football game. Harvard and Dartmouth are both 2-0 in the Ivies and this game is pivotal for both teams and it's also very important and significant. (B) Verbose. It seems that the offense have jelled after last week's performance at Cornell. (C) Bad grammar.

That last paragraph was some additional practice for the LSATs if I need to take them again. (E) No error.

Of course there are also some baseball games on television. Last week I predicted that the Yankees and the Dodgers would be in the World Series. This week, I say one of these two teams will win the baseball championship, unless they bring in that little league team from Taiwan again.

Now, to quote Gladys Knight, "I've got to go, I've got to go, ohhhh."

See you next week. Be here. Aloha.