Orioles, Yankees to Hit Fenway Park

It is hard enough to study for exams, let alone cover half a semester of reading, when the sun is shining and visions of summer are dancing in one's head.

But now the Red Sox have gone and scheduled back-to-back, three-game sets with the Baltimore Orioles and the New York Yankees.

This is not fair. To bring a team that the Red Sox trail by two games to Fenway Park when Homer and Hegel need to be pulled from that monstrous pile of unread books is simply not fair.

Especially if that team is the Baltimore Orioles, who now feature Reggie Jackson and, as always, are giving Boston nightmares. Even if it were September, and the Birds were 15 games behind, the locals would still be looking over their shoulders.

It is, of course, only the end of May, and to call this series crucial would be more than boosterism. But the Red Sox have announced that they are trotting Reggie Cleveland out of the bullpen tonight at 7:30 p.m. And, they will throw Rick (two-hitter) Wise at Cy Young award winner Jim Palmer tomorrow. If that does not appeal, how does Looeee vs. Doyle Alexander on Sunday sound?

Well, no one studies all weekend anyway. Besides, Monday is Memorial Day--that should be time to study.

Forget it.

Monday night marks the renewal of hostilities between the Bosox and the New York Yankees.

Remember the Yankees? Remember that wild tag team bout, two extra-inning games and a finale decided in the ninth last weekend at the renovated Stadium in the Bronx?

Remember Mickey Rivers running around doling out cheap shots like they were the latest fad or Carl Yastrzemski turning the clock back a few years or Jim (Goldfish) Hunter throwing a three hitter?

Yes, unfortunately, the division-leading Yankees will be in town Monday through Wednesday. How can they do this? Maybe it will suffice to skim Samuelson. It does not seem very important.

Even if the red-hot Red Sox are not all one cares about, this is the last opportunity to escape and spend an afternoon in the Fenway Park Bleachers before the summer.

So, in the interest of preserving sanity, The Crimson brings you an exam period guide to Bleacher Bumming at the Park (Pahk):

Test One

Start at the Harvard Square kiosk. Bring $1.75 and two quarters for the subway. (Test 1: If you put a quarter in the turnstyle at the subway station, how much will be left?)

The next attraction is a brisk trip to Park Street followed by a roller coaster ride on the green line trolley to Kenmore.

Herein lies the second test. Not all green line trains go to Kenmore. With the use of a map, find the right subway car. Good luck.

Once at the ballpark, one must decide where to sit: a) behind the Red Sox bullpen where one can listen to the pearls of wisdom of the verbose relief staff; b) Over the center field wall in spitting and jeering distance of Fred Lynn; c) behind those three blondes in the tight shirts over in the right field corner.

Essay question (100 pts.): Who's got the beer?

Answer: Don't fool around. Head for the concession stands easily reached from the seats but plan to have a low tolerance. The stuff is expensive and it is not exactly Heineken.

Now, sit back and enjoy the game: Make a dollar bet with that man chomping on a cigar and waving a Yankees pennant. Ask the woman with the transistor radio what the score of the Celtics game is. And do not forget to strain your neck and watch the replay of the big hit, which you missed while soaking in the rays and catching a few Z's, on the all-new scoreboard.

So, see you at the ballpark. If you still feel guilty, you can go through the Monarchs for War and Peace during the seventh inning stretch.