A Christmas Chimera

SING HOSANNAS on high, Christmas is here,

Get in the mood of holiday cheer.

But before the wassails, listen close,

A casuist is getting verbose:

False prophets of economic recov'ry

Don't let on Christmas ain't all lovely.

Don't ring up the sales, bring in gifts new,

Or give in to crass, commercial lure,

'Til thoughts turn to those who are jobless and poor.

This is the time for selfless charity

Mixed with good ol' fashioned austerity.

But enough of Scrooging hedonist myopia;

At least words can revel in cornucopia.

So lift the grog at hearty feasts

Of turkey, game, brawn, poultry, geese.

Fill the paunch with hot buttered rum,

And start up the toaster's compendium.

First, season's greetings to the Boks,

For Derek, boldness, for a school on the rocks.

Bring Sissela free speech, unconfined,

(Cheers to her protectors, great and small-minded)

Still more success for Horner, Matina.

And to those who shine fair Harvard's patina, a

Word of advice, some of Santa's finer:

On Harvard counsel, on Daniel Steiner,

On Champion, on Daly, on Peterson, Hall,

Dash away, dash away, dash away all,

When next some rads take over Mass Hall.

A Ph.D. for Krister Stendahl.

For George Putnam and the Corporation,

A businesswoman, and less inflation.

Warm Christmas greetings to Walter Leonard

And to Steve Marglin, Marxist who's tenured.

Give a Med Area union to Edward Powers.

Drink to U. Profs Freund, Handlin, Reischauer,

Kitzinger, Arrow, and Edward Purcell.

Merry Christmas and Happy Noel,

To Dean of Faculty Rosovsky, Hen(a)ry,

Hampered by problems stemming from penury.

The toasts continue, and if couplets strain

We'll stop for a moment. Hust! A quatrain:

For Doris Kearns, black sheep of Gov.,

And Richard Goodwin, ram in tow,

A medieval guidebook: The Art of Courtly Love,

And a contract with publishers Harper and Row.

Eat plum pudding, blazing in brandy,

Apples and oranges, hot chestnuts and candy.

Drink 'smoking bishop,' a hot seething bowl,

To the Reverend Gomes and Rabbi Gold.

Joye and blisse shulle we make

For William Alfred, who needs a strong lock(e).

Sing Auld Lang Syne for Skiddy von Stade,

Despite"...Seven Sisters..." for him a hot toddy.

The Rosenkrantzes, Bosserts, Grabars, and Dunns,

Vorenberg, Heimert, Pians, Hutchisons,

The Kielys, Mayers, Vogts, and Andrewses,

Sing their praise, for a House Master enthuses.

To deans Whitlock, Jewett, and Arthurs, Alberta,

To Ebert, Kilbridge, and Sacks, Albert, a

Merry, merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

Cheers to Moulton, Brewer, Schmidt and Gillette.

Free speech in the press for Howard Hibbett.

Pile up the fire half-chimney high,

Eat sausages, twelfth cakes and hot mince pies.

Don't worry if you're left here alone,

Seek out the comfort of a quaint warm zone.

Though you don't see them, there're professors galore.

An old pigeon for Skinner, an ape for DeVore.

to Astro's Latham, Layzer, and Whitney,

A merry natalis solis invicti.

Sing an old song, not too far off key,

For Clifford C. Lamberg Karlovsky.

Many returns for Homeric Finley and Nagy.

For Everett Mendelsohn, a cheer that looms lahge.

A toast to Harvey Mansfield, The Prince of Government,

And to Afro's chairman (Eileen Southern's meant).

Drink up your porter for Samuel Beer,

And chase it with punch for polemical Ewart Guinier.

Wassail David Riesman, many-nuanced;

He's not female, not female-influenced.

For Ronald Bush, Pound's A Lume Spento.

All the season's warmth (and early nights) for Sorrento.

To the imperial MISTER Pipes, the scraps of the feast,

Like dogs or (what is it?) acquisitive little beasts.

Good will to the McCaffreys, Baker, Bate and Grandine,

To retired Galbraith, Smithies, and Eckstein.

Some compassion for Captain Lock 'Em Up, James Q. Wilson,

Ethnic pluralism for Crimson letter writer, Martin Kilson.

To Karl Deutsch, pacem in terris,

For Freeman and Frohock, a trip to Paris.

Dance a revolutionary peasants' morrice,

For Theda Skocpol and Higgonet, Patrice.

Salud to Seth Kupferberg and Dan Swanson,

A pretty reason for seven stars to jester Carlson.

A pepper for Nozick, liber- and vege- tarian,

Good Luck to David Perkins as English Lit's new chairman.

Crimson stay socialist, anti-imperialist,

Tenure for Isaac, accomplished linguist.

Toasts go on, the gifts seem small,

Praise for conscientious Ruth Hubbard, George Wald.

Huzzahs for Nash, Fellini's Roma for Clive,

The New Kibbutz for Marty Peretz, more museum space for Seymour Slive.

The verdict's still out on Sociobiological Wilson,

So here's to Davis, Trivers, him and Lewontin,

Pick up a mug of beer, brush off the foam.

Drink deep in Christmas cheer for C. Titcomb.

Take another pull for Lewis Brooks,

And drink to the bottom for Miss Fickett, of the books.

We wish we could name all of whom we're fond,

But we'll have to end here, with merry John Marquand.

Other Harvard dons lurk over all the land,

Men like victriolic D.P. Moynihan,

And the good Dean and University Professor,

John Dunlop, the man who is labor's confessor.

For Kissinger, Richardson, champagne sips

On the day (let's hope soon) when they get their pink slips.

There's not much to say about Jerry Ford,

By some he's well-liked, by others abhorred.

As all things--even presidents and poems--must come to an end

We say: On earth, peace, good will toward men.