EI Sid

Any football fan who doesn't call a spade a concave instrument for delving or flensing whale blubber knows that the New York Giants and Jets are sleep-walking through the NFL season and show little sign of regaining consciousness.

Both teams looked to have the best shot at racking up one-sided slates since the Miami Dolphins went 17-0 in 1973 en route to the Super Bowl. The Jets managed to trip up the pigskin prophets by upsetting the Buffalo Bills, but the Giants are winless at the midseason mark and after a 27-0 drubbing at the hands of the Steelers last Sunday seem well on the way to an 0-14 mark.

The Giants' brass decided to take some remedial action last week and axed third-year head coach Bill Arnsparger in what should prove a futile attempt to shake up the moribund squad. His successor is assistant coach for "research and development" John McVay, who played collegiate ball with Arnsparger on a 1950 Miami of Ohio squad that included 19 other present NFL coaches.

Arnsparger came to the Giants with the reputation of a defensive master-mind. He pioneered the Dolphin's "53" defense that allowed only 150 points the season they went undefeated. Two days ago he was once again reinstated in the Orange Bowl, reclaiming his sinecure of defensive coordinator.

Arnsparger, who was one of the more intellectually-minded coaches in the league, took over New York's helm after the Giants had gone 2-11-1 under "Rah-Rah" head man Alex "Red" Webster, himself a former Giant. Only eight holdovers are left on the Giants' 43-man roster from Webster's 1973 squad, as Arnsparger undertook a complete house cleaning job.

The acquisition of piledriving fullback Larry Csonka was rare and refreshing fruit to the Giants' lackluster ground game, while Arnsparger shored up the defense with a linebacking corps of Brad Van Pelt, Pat Kelly and Brian Hughes.

The Giants moved into their new stadium this season right on schedule with Arnsparger's timetable for a winning record--"The Year of the Giant Step." Seventy-five thousand fans streamed across the Hackensack meadowlands like cattle crossing the sands of Dee to watch the Giants lose to the Cowboys in the stadium opener. But after 6,657 no-shows last Sunday and the worst whitewashing of the season against the Steelers, Giant owner Wellington Mara and director of player personnel Andy Robustelli decided to cut Arnsparger loose. Despite their 1-6 record, the Jets under new head coach Lou Holtz, who seems secure with a five-year pact, are showing none of the malaise that prompted the Giants' switchover.

Holtz, who is part coach, part faith healer and part song-writer, tried to reverse the dry rot afflicting the slumping Jets under Charlie Winner by dealing away highly-touted cornerback Roscoe Word and linebacker Godwin Turk and benching Alcorn A&M graduate Rich Sowells in favor of Schaefer Suggs, who was burned for a 79-yd. scoring hook-up between Bert Jones and Roger Carr on Sunday.

Holtz wrote a victory song for the team during the pre-season but, like Napolean's Marseillaise-singing recruits, Holtz's charges have not amounted to much more than cannon fodder for the opposition.

Unlike the Giants who have hung tough in the face of the hardest schedule in the NFL, the Jets have shown as much stability as a toupee in high wind. Things got so bad that owner Phil Iselin suffered a heart attack watching Denver trounce his club. The Jets were even euphoric after holding the Colts to only 20 points while former all-pro guard Winston Hill benched himself, missing his first starting assignment since 1963.

Joe Namath's offense has put 50 points on the board in seven games, less than either of the expansion teams. At the present rate, the Jets should score fewer points than any NFL team since the 14-game schedule was adopted in 1960.

If the Jets and Giants both had shots at 0-14 records there could be an element of perfection in the season, but as it stands now, there's nothing much to root about in the Big Apple.