Creme dela Cramer

Tired of the machinations of Charley Finely. Sick of Bob Short's ridiculous franchise hopping. Repulsed by a designated hitter rule that gives cripples Orlando "Cha Cha" Cepeda and Tony Bad Wheel Oliva a new lease at the plate. Then your only possible alternative to that sham of an American "League" is the pure baseball of senior circuit.

Last year, one-half of the National League--the Eastern half--was engaged in a war to lose the pennant. As late as August, six teams had a chance to forfeit the flag, and only the Mets failed to take advantage of this option. But this year the situation will be different.

The Mets are definitely one team that gained over the winter. At long last, that deadwood centerfielder Willie Mays decided to hand-em up for the benefit of both Yogi Berra and his jealous teammates. No longer will the crowd roar when Mays gets up from the bench to get a drink of water--there won't be any more standing ovations for a few cuts at the air. But as long as Baby-Face Seaver and the rest of his no-hit, no-field comedians continue to come to the park, the rest of the league will be hard-pressed to beat them--though nobody knows why.

The Pirates, back under the tutelage of Danny Murtaugh, are looking much more like that 1972 squad that took the league by storm. The line-up is similar, still studded with those same .300 plus hitters. But the similarities don't stop there--the Bucs have much of that same pitiful pitching staff back too. The Pirate management has been deluding fans with that "much improved hurling corps" nonsense for at least five months, since the acquisition of Jerry Reuss and Kenn Brett. Although Reuss can be considered an improvement over the curleradorned Dock Ellis, or the nose-diving Steve Blass, the hard-throwing Brett could prove to be a better hitter than pitcher.

Other clubs weren't so lucky as the Pirates or the Mets over the winter. That old horse-trader Gene Mauch will probably wish he never picked up the phone during the off-season. The Montreal skipper dealt away his whole franchise (with the exception of super-star Ken Singleton) when he sent Mike Marshall to the Dodgers for Willie Davis. While Walt Alston is busy smacking his lips, Mauch will have to depend on a staff that makes even Atlanta's hurlers look good, and that's bad news for die-hard Expo fans.

Although the Cardinals give the impression of being a fourth-place team, they do have an upward mobility that neither the Expos nor the Pirates can claim. Although their infield features two names that will be on everybody's trivia quiz--third baseman Kenny Reitz and shortstop Mike Tyson--they are blessed with a few fine Boston refugees, most notably outfielders Reggie Smith and pitchers John Curtis, Lynn McGlothen, Ken Tatum, and Mike Garman. These additions give the Cards a solid outfield (Lou Brock in left, Luiz Melendez in center, and Smith in right) and an equally strong mound corps.

But no doubt the two remaining clubs in the division will be tuned into Curt Gowdy's play-by-play next October. The Cubs should be happy the Phils are in the league or Wrigley's boys would definitely be "double mint, double good, double last," in the 1974 campaign. True, Chicago did junk that disgruntled pair of Ron Santo and Ferguson Jenkins on Unfortunate American League chumps. But the Cubs failed to capitalize on their close-out sale and will be knocking on the Phillies' dungeon door all season long.

The Phils, who have been the butt of most baseball jokes since Shibe Park became Connie Mack Stadium, probably will inspire a whole new series of jokes this coming season. The Phils did quite a bit of dealing over the winter--but it is doubtful that General Manager Paul Owens bluffed anybody. New acquisitions Dave Cash and Ron Schueler are good ball players, but they are not miracle men--so the Philly fans needn't delude themselves. Of course the big question mark is Steve Carlton. If the big lefty will stop endorsing products and start pitching like he did two seasons ago, and if Wayne Twitchell continues to show improvement, it really won't matter--the Phils will do badly anyway.

As it shapes up, it looks like another season of six .500 ball clubs battling for post-season playoff honors. But if everything goes as planned, it appears that the Mets will give it their usual slow start and then catapult into first place during the final weeks of the season. However, if Yogi's battalion falters, look for the Cards to slide into the New York power vacuum.