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Old Man Is Sea of Trouble to Box Jox

By Alonzo Stagg

For the first time in its 100-year history, the Crimson-Box Jox softball game ran into difficulty with the law yesterday and narrowly escaped being thrown off the varsity baseball diamond.

The game was rudely interrupted in the second inning when the caretaker of Soldiers Field, an ancient remnant of another era, came to end the softball extravaganza.

Approaching first base where President Bok was perched after lining a cheap shot to left field, the Man in Charge said that no softball was allowed on a hardball field.

"But, Mr. Lowell, you are the President," he wisely pointed out to Bok. Bok, whose mind works feverishly in such tight situations said, "Well, uh, we don't want to make this game a special case We'll have to find another field."

All the other fields were occupied.

Hale Champion, vice president for Financial Affairs, wearing a fancy yellow-knit shirt, chirped in helpfully, "I should tell you, I have the Athletic Department budget on my desk."

Taking note of this new fact, Bok made a non-compromise compromise and decided the game would continue.

Bok's decision came on the heels of a big first inning for the jox when they exploded for two runs off Crimson moundswoman Dale Russakoffski. But in the bottom of the second, the Crimson batmen found Administration pitcher Dan Steiner, L.L. Bean '58, tiring, and nailed him for a dozen scores.

Umpire Julie Grosse, best known for taking frequent coffee breaks from her posh Grays Hall office, tried to stifle the Crime rally with shady rulings, but the presence of so many handsome Crimson editors made her flutter with excitement.

With Oil-Baron Hurt hiding behind the plate waiting for a curve from Fran Schumeresque, Mike Brewer blasted one over Tree Wilking in center field for a four-bagger. The run was later nullified because Brewer, who plays semi-pro ball 40 hours per week, was ruled ineligible for yesterday's contest.

With two gone in the last inning, and the Crime sitting atop a 22-2 lead, Crimson rookie McDonald Wade coaxed Bok in a rundown. Meek D. Dake '73 led the procession of happy Crimeds as he crossed the plate for the final run just before Wade was caught sliding back to first.

Elizabeth and Joshua Steiner, aged 10 and 7 respectively, and sub-counsels to the University, saw no action yesterday, but kept tally from the sidelines. "Daddy," they said after the game, "even with new math it comes out 23-2."

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