Crimson Batpersons Wade Into Game Against Sexist Box Jox this Weekend

"We're sick of the Crimson's sexism," said Dan "Big Stick" Steiner, promising that the Administration will field a well-stacked lineup in its diamond duel against The Crimson this Sunday.

"Baloney," retorted Joyce "The Happy Hookslider" Heard, ace Crime second baseperson. "They threw that same Box Brastraps malarkey after we ran 'em off the court this winter," added Heard, whose pivot work was pivotal in the Crime's 23-2 overtime triumph on the hardwood over the Administration earlier this year.

J. Robinson Eggert and Evan W. Thomas, famous Crimson fencebusters, are expected to miss Sunday's contest. Both are altar boys at Greater Boston churches.

However, Crimson manager Dan "Swat" Swanson predicted that Eggert and Thomas, if they are unable to play, will not be missed. "We got brother Ronald Wade to fill the gap."

Wade, recently brought up to the Crimson from Chicago where he hit .450 as a short fielder for the Blackstone Rangers, pledged nothing would prevent his appearance this Sunday. When queried as to his religious affiliation, Wade replied, "Reporter. I'm one of God's gumshoes."

There seems to be some uncertainty over what rules the game will be played by, particularly as to whether it will be played in accord with the American League's new designated hitter provision.