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8 Takeaways From Harvard’s Task Force Reports

CURREXION

By M. DEACON Dake

Saturday, The Crimson sports page printed an article entitled "Dake It or Leave It," a column alleged to have been written by M. Deacon Dake. In fact, Dake was unaware that a gathering of slimey newts were scheming a deceptive copy switcheroo. Apologies from the plotters have been accepted by Dake for this discrediting character assassination and all is again normal in the cube.

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