Boston Yippies Invoke Plagues Upon the Nation

The Bippies (Boston Yippies) gathered early this morning in the Cambridge Common and removed a small portion of the moon. The theft was the first of eight plagues that the Bippies have promised to call down upon the nation as a result of the "Chicago 8" Conspiracy trial.

The Bippies explained the plagues yesterday at a press conference beneath the Bunker Hill Monument in Boston. Martin L. Pearlmutter '68, Boston Field Mouse of the Youth International Party, said, "We have invoked eight plagues, one for each defendant, that will lay low the so-called, alleged Federal government. We demand that the Nixon junta capitulate immediately and that we be granted immortality."

The Bippies charged that "establishment astronomers" were calling last night's plague a partial lunar eclipse to prevent a nationwide panic.

Last night's plague, the Bippies warned, was only the beginning of a two week "apocalypse." A plague of militant leap frogging, a plague of bubbles, and a plague on the first-born of college presidents will lead up to the Plague of Time on March 1 when the Bippies will seize February 29, 30, and 31.

Pearlmutter refused to reveal the nature of the remaining plagues except for the Plague of Blackness on March 7. "On that day, we will block out the sun," Pearlmutter said.