"'What's the matter?' I asked. 'It's like this,' said Roger. 'I wish I were dead. No-wait, wait-I wish YOU were dead.'"

anything I can do? What's the matter?"

"Who knows? It just happens. She freaked out, that's all, and she wants to be alone . . . Listen, if you want some tea anyway. I have some Constant Comment. It would just take a second . . ."

"No . . . I wish there was something I could do. Freaked out-it's

A number of things have gone wildly wrong for Roger this year, but he doesn't like to talk about it. So he smiles a lot and jokes a lot.

He lit a cigarette. "I was talking to Larry the other day. He said, 'The more you get to know people, the more you want to kill them.' I don't know anybody, but, looking around this place, I think he's right. May everyone in this room perish . . ."

A boy waved hello to Roger. After he had passed the table, Roger turned to me, pointed in the boy's direction and said, "May his hair catch fire. May he burn with his books. May he smother in his smile."