News

Garber Announces Advisory Committee for Harvard Law School Dean Search

News

First Harvard Prize Book in Kosovo Established by Harvard Alumni

News

Ryan Murdock ’25 Remembered as Dedicated Advocate and Caring Friend

News

Harvard Faculty Appeal Temporary Suspensions From Widener Library

News

Man Who Managed Clients for High-End Cambridge Brothel Network Pleads Guilty

Wig, Marlboros Win Va. Pool Tournament

By Jim Morgan

(Special to the CRIMSON)

ARLINGTON, Va., Jan. 27- Tonight in Jack n Jill Cue Club, a pool rustler named Bernie Schwartz clinched the U.S. Open Nine Ball Tournament. With this new achievement. Schwartz may be the best nine ball player in the country.

The tournament lead was shared by Schwartz. Luther "Wimpy" Lassiter, "Champagne" Eddie Kelly, and Jim "The Springfield Rifle" Rellihan at 5-1, but then the balding Schwartz roared back to lead, 11-2. and eventually win.

Jim Morgan in Drag

Schwartz bets liberally and has won as much as $15,000 in a week. In the all-night sessions, his girl friend- in her blonde wig, black leather pumps, and imitation sealskin coat- is an important factor in his success. She sits near Schwartz and gives him Marlboros and coffee.

Denizens of Jack n Jill are now talking up a large money match between Lassiter and The Hawk, Lassiter has always been acknowledged as the finest nine ball player in the world, but now there are some doubters.

In Joke

As one familiar face known only as "Pumpkin" said. "When you've been out of action for four years like Lassiter has, it's got to hurt, and I don't care who you are."

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags