News
Harvard Quietly Resolves Anti-Palestinian Discrimination Complaint With Ed. Department
News
Following Dining Hall Crowds, Harvard College Won’t Say Whether It Tracked Wintersession Move-Ins
News
Harvard Outsources Program to Identify Descendants of Those Enslaved by University Affiliates, Lays Off Internal Staff
News
Harvard Medical School Cancels Class Session With Gazan Patients, Calling It One-Sided
News
Garber Privately Tells Faculty That Harvard Must Rethink Messaging After GOP Victory
Sporadic anarchy broke out spontaneously in the Yard at midnight last night, reaching physical- but not metaphysical- levels of action. It was a TV newscast- watchers' kind of revolt carried out by freshmen who had thought about their alienation but never really experienced it.
Approximately 500 freshmen ran around the yard hooting and chanting slogans like, "Rule of reason/out of season." Even the violence was directed against their own numbers (instead of institutions), as water bombs looped into clusters of amazed bystanders.
The freshmen confined their movement to the paved paths that cut diagonally, horizontally, vertically, and oppressively across the green grass of the Yard.
After twenty minutes, from 200 to 250 members of the group poured out of the north gate of the Yard and ran up to Radcliffe, where they milled around outside Briggs, Moors, and finally Eliot Halls, chanting, "Cliffies Need Sex" and "Statutory Rape." At this point, many girls were in their midst and others came out to talk. However, only a few boys entered conversation, and not one was seen to touch a girl.
Between 50 and 100 boys then invaded Eliot Hall only to be driven out by cries of "Fuck you, get out of here," as sleepy boyfriends stood drowsily in the corridors.
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.