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8 Takeaways From Harvard’s Task Force Reports

From the Old Regime

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Exams will end today for all,

Inglorious end to a glorious Fall.

Where does one go for R and R?

Without a car.

Casablanca at the Brattle,

If anything will sooth you, that'll.

But if Levin and Stack Sullivan continue to Harry ya,

Take my advice: go back to Bulgaria.

Tote your skis to Stowe, Vermont.

Between your trips down, scan your Kant.

Or fly to Redlands to see your folks

And drive back richer by a Volks.

For those who display a more serious bent,

We've got the place for you to be sent:

Symposium planned by Kaplan and Gould

To save Fair Harvard, so vilely misruled.

It's a new regime, but the same old news;

Go to the church, you'll still see the Pews.

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