Hazen's Theresa Tosses in the Apron

At about 2 a.m. tomorrow, Mrs. Theresa Caufield will bag one final knackwurst, hang up her apron and walk out of Hazen's Restaurant for the last time. The waitress who has been a Harvard institution for two decades has quit her job.

Theresa said that her bosses had asked her to get tougher with unruly customers, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. "These kids aren't unruly," she said. "They're my friends."

Theresa began mothering Harvard students some 20 years ago as a waitress in the old Hayes-Bickford's. Since then, the lady with the world's stoutest smile has cheered her customers in sports, counseled them in love, sympathized when they broke up with their girl friends and watched them get married. In return, the Register has picked her as an honorary freshman advisor, the Lampoon cast her in an "impromptu production," and the Hasty Pudding always gave her their best seats.

Theresa now hopes to get a job making hypodermic needles in Needham. "At least this will give me more time to spend with my boys," she said, referring to her three sons, ages 15, 7, and 4. "I'd like to send them to Harvard."

"A lot of people say that Harvard guys are jerks," she added. "It's just not true. The guys with weird clothes who take dope aren't students. I've fed and been friends with Harvard students for many years, and I say they're the kind of kids I want my sons to grow up to be like."