Lamont: The First Night

(The date: Feb. 7, 1967; the time: evening; the place: Lamont Library newspaper reading room. Two young women are sitting reading the Sunday Times society columns spread out on the table before them.)

ELLEN (looking around at the young men in the other chairs): Well, dammit, we made it.

ELECTRA: Let's go out and try the john. Wait, here comes Stephanie.

STEPHANIE: I've taken the grand tour. C'mon, let me show you something. (All three push their way with relish through a door and bounce up a staircase). It's over here. Look. (she points to a worn stall with some carvings in the wood.)

ELECTRA: (reads) "Have just one life, do not waste a single moment." Oh, brother. (whispers) Compared to what I found on my desk at Newton High in the 11th...

ELLEN: Hey, over here: "Meal of infamy Union lunch Jan. 10, '64."

STEPHANIE: They're all so . . . uh, visceral. Hey, WOW! Try this one for size . . . "Ellen Niedermeir has big . . ."

ELLEN: Very funny.

ELECTRA: "Far and away the best course at Harvard is intercourse," it says here. I'm beginning to understand what's bothering these little jokers.

STEPHANIE: Hey, let's go downstairs and LEER at the check-out girls.

ELLEN: You leer at the check-out girls. I'll leer at their wedding rings.

ELECTRA: Wait, I've got a much better idea. Come on. We've gotta find out where the good places are. (The three wander through the stacks until they come upon a darkened alcove).

ELLEN: Not bad. You got the notebook, Steph? This is fourth floor, let's see, east end. (They walk up a staircase and approach a door with a name on it)

ELECTRA: "Farnsworth Room." Soft chairs, dim lights, nice view. Only one or two people in there. Fifth floor, west, right? Got that, Steph? Steph? Where's Steph?

STEPHANIE: (calling from the top of the next staircase.) Boy, the sixth floor's perfect. Not a soul. Lots of little rooms.

ELLEN: God! Take it all down. This certainly beats the Hilles south front third floor alcoves. All those damn windows.

ELECTRA: Let's retrace our steps carefully. George has never ventured far beyond the Sports Illustrated rack.

STEPHANIE: He's not much of a contingency planner, either. What are you going to do?

ELECTRA: Tell him they've installed an ice cream counter. (They pass another row of stalls. Ellen stops and stares at one.)

ELLEN: Aw. Some of these little guys tear you up. This one has scribbled a picture of a beach, a sailboat, a seagull, and a name....Jayne, it says, very faintly.

ELECTRA: Sigh. Sigh. Down here it says: "Sue Hinks, I miss you." I'd like to find out what their saying about good old hot lips Elec....

STEPHANIE: Oh, that reminds me. Let's go check out the restroom. The stuff in there is WONDERFUL!