Auto Eroticism

Johnny Walker Mark II, Formula IV, is not a new liquor. It's a car -- one of many on display at the New England international Automobile Show at the War Memorial Auditorium. About ten feet long and only two feet high and wide, bright red, tapering to a broad, flat snout, Johnny resembles a tongue kissing. As such, he is one of least sensual pieces in the show.

A really tough go-goer hangs around the Olds-mobile 442, which squats near the main entrance. If the girl doesn't catch your eye, the color of the car will. "Lemon-lime luster" is very much like citric acid to the eye. It smarts. It glares. It offends. It's guaranteed to prevent scurvy on sight. The girl's nice, however. Her lines almost mitigate the lines she sings; like "442 -- the Groovy-go machine that will tickle your taste buds for action!" "And inside," she promised, "there are goodies galore." G-g-golly.

But Chevy's big attraction was a male folk singer who extemporized rhymed verse for ten minutes to the tune of "Under the Boardwalk." Except for an indifferent plug for Chevy, his ballad was inspired by the grubby bunch who gawked at him. Singling out one middle-aged man, he improvised:

"Kind Sir, you're a very handsome guy, and very nicely dressed,

"Your topcoat on your arm, I can see, is really quite the best."

He shifted easily from lauding Chevy's grill to mocking some girl's braces.

Lisa Baker, November's Playmate and the official hostess of the show, was some improvement over the folk singer. Dressed, she drew a listless crowd who sheepishly accepted autographed photos of her face. Most of the men looked like they'd rather get their kicks from the cars; witness this quick exchange between two who passed the Bunny by:

"Hey, there's the Playmate, Joe."

"Look at the wheels on that thing."

The exception to all the gaudy gullaballoo was, of course, VW, looking wallflowery as ever. No go-go here. No folk singer either. A white gowned mechanic expounded the virtues of synchromesh, rear wheel drive, and a well balanced engine. Too bad he couldn't extemporize verses. He could have had fun to the tune of "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, you'd better make an ugly woman your wife.