Crimson Sestet Faces New Season; Coach Porfolio Cautiously Hopeful

Though hard-hit by graduation losses, plagued by student apathy, and riding on the trough of a 33-game losing streak, Crimson coach Rhesus J. Portfolio '00 is "cautiously optimistic" about his team's chances for success this season.

After the Crimson seven suffered a 29-1 humiliation at the hands of Yale five years ago, alumni pressured to withdraw financial support from the team; they haven't won a game since.

"We don't have any money, we don't have any fans, we don't even have a place to practice," Portfolio mourned yesterday while watching his charges work out it the Adams House Small Dining Room.

"But," he said, "we have a lot of good boys on this team. We may not win the title, but we'll have a lot to say about who does."

Assessing the team's assets and liabilities, Portfolio said that the prospects depend largely on whether the squad's left side will jell early in the campaign. Traditionally, Harvard has had a potent right flank, but, as many experts have observed, "the left side is 75 per cent of the game."

The Crimson's defense is not much of a problem; it allowed only about six markers a game last season, and should improve this year. But even the most passionate supporters of the Crimson seven are well aware that the team's offense is miserable. However, if anyone can remedy the problem, Portfolio, the Grand Old Man of the Game, can do it.

Crimson captain "Sneaks" Cabot, who scored a record three goals against An lover last season, said he was very happy about the team's development under Portfolio's tutelage. "He's a genius," the Crimson star commented. "He's done more for the game than any man, living or dead."