Is LBJ More Fatherly Than Barry?

President Johnson projects a more fatherly image than does Barry Goldwater, according to a survey taken at Radcliffe recently.

Asked simply, "Whom would you prefer for your father, Johnson or Goldwater?" forty-two girls chose the President, while thirty favored his rival. Unlike the ancient Chinese, Cliffies apparently draw sharp distinction between familial and executive ability, since seventy-one of those polled supported Johnson for the Presidency. The other one didn't care.

Statistics tell only half truths, however. The most consistent indication from the survey was that neither candidate had much appeal as a father. In less polite terms, most of the Cliffies agreed with whoever said the choice was "between a crook and a kook."

"It depends on whether I'd rather be bribed or spanked," said one girl who finally chose Goldwater, apparently feeling that a bullied bottom was preferable to a sullied soul.

A few girls felt Johnson was "easy going and likeable," and other preferred him because "he'd give a bigger allowance." As usual, there was much more anti-Goldwater than pro-Johnson support evidenced in the LBJ vote.

"I don't want a stupid father," stated one typical LBJ girl. Many other chose Johnson to avoid an "unbalanced" family.

Goldwater's support was evenly divided between those who thought he'd be "a nice daddy," and those who simply couldn't stand Johnson. "Johnson's a big fat lug," said one of the latter, "and his personality is just as fat."

Among the former were those who felt "Barry's family is more normal and healthy. For instance, his daughter and her fiance once squirted shaving cream all over him and them shoved him into a swimming pool."

Teach Indan Dance

Some felt Rarry "would be more interesting because he'd teach me to do Indian Dances and fly me in his private plane." One blonde saw in the Senator "the manifestation of the father image."

The President's two daughters are to blame for his relatively narrow margin.

"I don't know anything about Goldwater's children, but at least they don't dance the Watusi in public," said one Cliffie as she cast her vote for Goldwater. Eight others were less subtle, merely saying "the Johnson girls are obnoxious."