'Poon Ibis Gives Captors the Bird, Flies Away on Mysterious Mission

In a surprise announcement last night, Find-A-Bird, Inc. revealed that the Lampoon's Ibis has flown the coop. A spokesman for the organization, which until yesterday promised to return the bird to the Lampoon, would say only that the Ibis flew away from a Find-A-Bird agent yesterday afternoon.

Woodward A. Wickham '64, Lampoon president, expressed "the profoundest regret" on learning that the bird was not to come home this Saturday. He added, "It is beyond belief that a bird-finding agency could be so incompetent as to let a priceless specimen out of its hands." Wickham also made it clear that the Lampoon had cancelled all plans for a mammoth celebration in Freedom Square tomorrow.

Several persons conjectured that the Ibis escaped while being shown the Lampoon building. At least one cynic suggested it was frightened off by "that silly castle." No one in Cambridge seems to know where the bird was heading when it flew off. It was last seen traveling "in the direction of Maine," according to one observer.

In the wake of its stupendous blunder, Find-A-Bird chose to lie low. A source close to Find-A-Bird officials, however, reported that several of the corporation's commissions had been withdrawn and that its stock had fallen off considerably.