The Worm Turners

Recently removed from the wilds of Michigan to the woolies of California is a small group of dedicated men and women intent, through their work, upon undermining the national leadership of this great community of humane scholars. They, the hard-bitten agents of The Planaria Research Group--ominous appellation--will know long before our world-view-imbued scholiasts, whether it is that two-headed planaria exceed single-headed planaria in intelligence, why it is that planaria who eat educated planaria are themselves more speedily educable, whence it comes that poisoned planaria die.

Can Harvard long afford or oft allow itself to be surpassed in such essential learning? In the vermicular vernacular, can we afford to burrow from the realities around us and transmogrify the liberal epistemology? O never never--the government is with us and the populace demands it: let us enter in the new planarian world.