Snow Job

Not for nothing is the Anglo-Saxon "snow" derived from Sanskrit sneha, 'moisture,' or the Gaelic sneachd. Of late, unwonted newtish wetness pervades the simmering gutters, and as if for efts lies puddling on the pavements. The icicles, sad eyelids of the white-haired residences, weep down the ivy cheeks and in despair cascade in shattering barrages on the innocents below. Minutious capillary streets transmit a filthy umbrous melt to unreceptive veins, unopened sewers, and all along the byways mounds of pablumgrey constrict the traveler from the way.

O, wintertime in Cambridge comes again. Returns the unrelenting fluid flush, that sweeps along the walks and wets the well-healed souls of those who in the hour of peril venture forth. O, to be depourvu, bereft, and rid of that unwelcome intercessor in these parts, whose subtle liquid motions bring discomfiture and weight depressing on our hearts. O, to be witness and delighted benefactor of efficient snow removal would elicit nightingale-like our most heartiest approval. Banish then the ibis of the wood, return the hush; banish then the offal of the slopping through the slush.