'Crime' Tackles Inept Yale News

A no-nox Crimson eleven will face a Greasy Kid Stuff Yalie Dailie squadron at 10:30 this morning on an undisclosed field in the 49th occurrence of the gridiron extravanganza. Coach Joe Russin of the Crime squad is going into the game looking for the big win--and he shouldn't have far to gaze in this case.

The Crimson statistics stagger the imagination, boggle the mind, and sag the jaw in almost any department you can name. Razzle-dazzle artist Richard Baldwin Ruge has amassed an unbelievable rushing average of 15.4 yards per carry; quarterback Frederic L. Ballard can pass that buck like no one else in the business; fullback Chollie Bevard, in Russin's own words, will always "catch you off guard"; and linemen Robert "Speed" Gordon, Richard "King" Cotton, Raymond "The Sage" Sokolov, Andrew "The Rock" Weil and Lee "Flash" Auspitz are just, well, Some Of The Greats.

Against this the Yalies have only the uncertain glories of Lieberman & Sons (Lance has left; Jethro and Joseph remain) and the questionable quarterbacking talents of chairman Jon Chapman Rose. As Russin says, "What me lose? Get serious."