Ministry of Health

The little old lady in Hazen's went up to the Health Center the other day, just to have a look around, and, like everybody else, came up with her own set of ideas on how the thing shapes up. She relates the following:

The ingenious little tunnel that runs under the building. Trouble is, or so it seems, that food, laundry, and sundry delivery trucks are too high to run all the way through; they all have to back up on each other.

The psychiatrists are going out of their minds. The rooms, they say, are the wrong colors; patients freeze as soon as they lie down. And the authorities don't want them redone.

The windows are made of frosted glass, not just ordinary old frosted glass, but imported straight from England. If any of it breaks, they have to send away for more.

The windows II--frosted they may be, but so much light streams into the patient's rooms, that they have to close all the delightful purple curtains tight during the afternoons.

Elevators I--You first have to find them. If you want to go up to see the lovely view, you have to go into the building, take several steps down, walk through a corridor, go several steps up, go outside, walk along another corridor, go back inside, and try a right. It doesn't always work.

Elevators II--Once you find them, you see a little sign. "Harvard," it says, pointing to the left, "Workmen" to the right. Try the left, knowing your place. After ten minutes or so a workman will happen by and invite you to use his elevator. "The other one isn't working yet."

Water pipes--The other day some hopeful soul turned on the cold. Clear as a mountain stream, the flow came out at 180 degrees F. The pipes, regrettably, had been run right alongside those containing steam.

Stairs--incidentally, if you get bored with elevators and want to try the stairs, bear in mind that you can get to them, but can't get off them anywhere but the first floor.

But, all in all, the little old lady points out, this place must be liveable. A mouse was seen the other day in the Registrar's office, and he looked pretty calm.