The First Hundred Days

Rumors contending that the University will lose some 35 per cent of its Faculty after January 20 have prompted the CRIMSON to undertake an intense investigation of sources from which new faculty members may be acquired. Our study indicates that peace and prosperity have limited the range to men now employed within the Eisenhower Administration. The following calendar, therefore, may be assumed accurate for the first few months in 1961.

January 13; President Pusey flies to Washington to confer with officials. Later, Pusey and vice-President Nixon issue a joint statement announcing Nixon's appointment to the new Albert B. Fall Memorial Chair of Social Ethics. "I sincerely hope," says the vice-President in a subsequent press conference, "that I will be able to convey my heart-felt feelings about freedom, virtue, and loyalty to my students."

January 18: President Mary Bunting of Radcliffe appoints Thelma Ryan "Pat" Nixon Head Resident of Moors Hall.

January 20: Robert Young becomes news analyst at WHRB and initiates program "Life Without Father" (a review of events in Washington), with an eye-witness account of Kennedy's inauguration.

January 24: President Bunting receives letter from Mrs. Nixon asking whether residents of Moors Hall won't be disturbed by the noise when she and Mr. Nixon move in. "You know," she writes, "children and dogs follow Dick home at night--and the dogs do howl a bit."

February 1: New Faculty members assume posts in mass ceremony in front of Memorial Church. Thousands of spectators watch as Mr. Nixon, who has requested to be sworn in, places his hand on a Bible supplied by the Veritas Foundation and says an oath.

February 5: Dwight D. Eisenhower, new Preacher to the University, arrives by bubble-domed helicopter to deliver first sermon.

February 13: Nixon delivers first lecture in which he announces that students may telephone him collect with their questions. That afternoon, instructors report that "the response has been appalling."

February 28: Thomas S. Gates, Chief of the University Police, replaces the force's water pistols with cap guns, and supplies all men on duty with foam rubber trunchcons. Issues statement: "We have never been stronger."

March 10: Director of Dining Halls Ezra Taft Benson announces his One Point Program to Halt Board Riscs and Prevent Illnesses Caused by Food. Proposes that students be paid $.50 per meal for not eating.

April 10: The University librarian announces that all University libraries will be closed until September. During the interim, Arthur Summerfield (in charge of the Widener Pornography collection) and his staff will stamp all books Report Obscene Literature To Your Librarian.

April 11: George V. Allen, director of the Harvard Square Information Booth, assures visitors, "We've never had it so good."