Age of Consent

This is the country where any little boy can Grow Up To Be President--even if he's rich. But from all appearances, the job that has in the past been held by such men as Grant, Harding, and Eisenhower will be empty after 1961, because no one wants it. Of course the routine of patriotic reluctance and ultimate submission to an "unwanted" nomination is old and familiar. But we are now asked to witness a display of coquetry unprecedented even in William Jennings Bryan's day: the spectacle of the dozen or so most qualified and ambitious men in the United States rushing around making speeches and posing and conferring with political not-so-hidden persuaders and denying that they want to be President.

Nelson R., for instance. A friend of his told Henry Luce's national picture magazine last year that "Nelson has been running for President since he was six years old." Nelson R. has announced that by January 6th he will decide whether he is a candidate for the Republican Party nomination for President.

Then there is Richard N. Mr. N's boss, who refuses to name his preference of successors, has, we are told, been "grooming" Richard for something for six and one-half years. In his various trips abroad, to South America (where he was stoned) and to Russia (where he was applauded), Richard has been delegated the responsibility of "speaking for the United States." To the acute embarrassment of Nelson R., Mr. N.'s lieutenants have been soliciting convention support even in New York State. Richard N. also denies that he is a candidate.

Meanwhile, the Democrats have at least six or eight men who are not running. There is Senator K. from Massachusetts, noticeably more vocal in Congress recently than in the past. Then there are Senator S. from Missouri and Governor B. from California and Governor W. from Michigan and Governor M. from New Jersey, all of whom are very active these days winning friends and denying everything. Senator J. from Texas, who many sophisticated observers say has been President since 1953 anyway, continues to keep everyone in Washington almost happy at the same time, carefully spreading himself wtih intriguing regularity over the front page of the New York Times. And Governor S. from Illinois, who has actually broken down and run before, has something printable to say almost every day. All of these men refused to run, too.

It's gotten so bad, as a matter of fact, that a female rhinoceros in Brazil was elected City Councilman some time ago without once admitting she was a candidate. By a write-in, no less. Which all goes to show what a judicious "no comment" can do for you.