No Crime Tomorrow

Alarmed by the relative lethargy of local hygiene authorities and fearing for the health of their myriad readers, the editors of Cambridge's only breakfast table daily have unanimously decided that this afternoon and evening will be spent in a massive, dedicated campaign to conflscate all cranberries or cranberry sauces in the Boston area. Because this praiseworthy project will strike deeply at the paper's manpower, by supreme executive flat it has been declared that there will be no Crime tomorrow.