Hermione Esmeralda

Hermione Esmerelda was born late in the afternoon beneath a swaying, shading bamboo tree. She looked questioningly at her mother, who informed Hermione Esmerelda that it was late in the afternoon beneath a swaying, shading bamboo tree that grew on the borderline between China and Tibet. Mother also told Hermione that she had four large, flat feet, a short tail, a white body, black legs, black ears, and black circles about her eyes. In short, Hermione was (according to her mother) a perfect ailuropoda melanoleucos and at the very same time a Giant Panda.

Mother also told Hermione Esmerelda that her father was a loud-mouthed lout from Szechuan Province, China. Mother, on the other hand, was a perfect lady from Tibet, whose nose was always cold and ears never drooped. Mother also had hopes for her daughter. And so from birth Hermione Esmerelda was always well behaved, well kempt, and never ate anything but the tenderest bamboo shoots. She looked askance upon Szechuan Pandas, especially her father, and ignored the reddish regular sized pandas or chased them up trees or called them, "Raccoons." When she grew up and weighed 200 pounds and was six feet long she intended to visit the United States.

John Foster Dulles was born in the antiseptic glare of a North American hospital. He was a homo sapiens, and was well raised. He worked on Wall Street, which is somewhere between Prospect Park and the Bronx Zoo. He liked Giant Pandas, Wall Street Bulls, and trial balloons. There was every reason to believe that he would like Hermione Esmerelda and that Hermione Esmerelda would like him.

When informed of this belief, Mr. Zeehandler sold some hippos, some rhinos, and some long necked giraffes and obtained Hermione Esmerelda. He proceeded to contact John Foster Dulles, who declared that Hermione Esmerelda could not come to the United States. Such an import, said he, would violate an embargo on trade with Communist China.

It seems a shame that Hermione should be so thwarted, that Mr. Dulles should be so mean, and that the United States should not have a single solitary Giant Panda, especially Hermione Esmerelda.