CRIES OF A VANQUISHED AMERICAN

The preppies and people who know

All think that your 'Poo is "so-so."

You are deft, but you lack

That professional knack,

Which the Lampoon's perfected--poor show.

Your parody's often obscene;

Now really, you're being quite mean.

The Lampoon is cruelish;

It's morbid and ghoulish,

But one thing it's always--is clean.

What you said about clubbies ain't true.

They are snobs, but their blood isn't blue.

Inside, no one knows,

But outside's where it shows

That you are all wonks and they're "shoe."

You have scored in both prose and sonnet,

But here's a bee for your bonnet.

By inversion we show

That "wonk" backwards is "know."

Were you sharp, you'd have discoursed upon it. John L. Berendt   Culinator,   Harvard Lampoon

P.S. Congratulations.! Poem aside, I really got a big kick out of the Lampoo. Well done, you sneaks!