The Mail

The Crimson received a copy of this letter from a Cambridge child to Santa because the child's mother wants the child to be famous. The child's name is being withheld. Dear Santa:

I am a precocious three-year old on the make, and I'm writing to you with the intention of having my letter printed in magazines and newspapers across the country and becoming famous.

Although I am only three, I have already learned to read and write fluently in several languages, I can drive a stick-shift, and I am a recently-appointed member of Jimmy Carter's transition team. My father is a nuclear physicist, my mother is a nuclear physicist.

I doubt that you exist. Sincerely,   Name and address withheld.

The Editors of the Crimson reply:

In the future, please address all correspondence "To the Editors of the Crimson." We regret that we cannot respond to letters addressed to third parties.