Hold That Torch

Weepings and wailings and gnashings of teeth recently rent the air as coaches and other athletic officals lamented this country's poor performance in the Winter Olympics. The consensus around the stadia and other such national focal points seems to be that a mediocre bobsled team indicates a mediocre country. Thus, by failing to turn out as large a number of winners as the Russians, the United States automatically lost its position as a world leader.

Somehow it seems that the anguish is misplaced. This becomes especially apparent when one considers the argument that this country's athletes are representatives in an athletic U.N., since they not only exemplify a sportsmanlike attitude, but prove American strength. Assuming that the U.N. is like the Olympics, something to be "won," it is indeed fortunate that America has the world's greatest weightlifter, for this proves to the world beyond a doubt that the United States is economically powerful. And Rev. Bob Richards' ability in the polevault has an obvious relationship to American development to guided missiles, while the fate of the fleet rests entirely upon the well-groomed kick of our finny friends at Yale and Ohio State.

Those who argue for athletic manifest destiny contend that Olympic victories amount to national triumphs. But the United States' athletic ineptitude may have unlooked-for blessings. The Indians may turn to this country as an exemplary study in non-violence. England and France may begin to consider the United States decadent and therefore cultured, while the Latin Americas may now see that the supposedly hard-working Yankees actually do know how to sit back and live. These benefits may be nullified, however, by the recommendations of America's athletic Bernard Baruchs. While Russia is currently presenting itself as the essence of gentlemanly sportsmanship, America's coaches are stressing their newly discovered political responsibility, adopting the eager-beaver attitude of the Soviet Union and lamenting the fact that our social system doesn't breed Amazons. Soon IBM machines will be clicking in Washington, and selected Harvard freshmen will be abducted to Dartmouth to be taught the diplomatic art of skiing.