Addled Anthropoid

In a dark corner in a large cage in a Pittsburgh zoo sits Jambo. He huddles beneath a blanket with only his eyes staring glumly out to greet the world. His eyes are deep brown with dark rings beneath them. His entire appearance is extraordinarily melancholy--especially for a gorilla from Central Africa. But Jambo is not only melancholy and underweight--he is neurotic.

To brand a poor helpless gorilla "neurotic" seems rather cruel. But experts from the Highland Park Zoo and the Bronx Zoo have officially concluded that Jambo's misery stems from a psychosomatic condition. Having taken X-rays, blood tests, and chest thumpings, the doctors declared that all Jumbo really needs is "tender, loving care."

Now any worthwhile ape lover knows that when a genuine, Swahili-captured, African gorilla becomes emotionally disturbed, a more basic cause then the absence of human "tender, loving care" must be present. Jambo, it must be relized, is not only a male, but he is masculine. He is also four years old--an important stage in the life of a gorilla.

So when the doctors considered Jambo's personality--not to mention his hopeful glances from beneath a blanket--they should have realized that the trouble was more basic than rejection by his cage keeper. What Jambo needs, and what the doctors should import, is a brown, furry, Central African, Swahili-captured, female gorilla.