A FAKE QUICK KICK

To the Editors of the CRIMSON:

I'm rather confused over the dichotomy in your article, "Tulla's Coffee Grinder," between real and pseudo Bohemians. From the information supplied, we imagine pseudo Bohemians to be analogous to a fake quick kick. Could you enlighten us further on this matter? Harry Brunner '57.

It is indeed a puzzling problem, Mr. Brunner, We were frankly stumped for some time. Webster's Dictionary informs us only that "a Bohemian adopts a mode of life in protest against the common conventions of society," and that "pseudo" means "sham."

The resources of Widener Library are scarcely more helpful. There is about half a drawer of cards on "Bohemian" and most of the books are published in exotic Slavic languages. The inestimable William Dean Howells boldly commented: "To explain what Bohemian meant, or what Bohemia was... no one can quite do." And the New York Times cautioned its readers in 1858 that Bohemians are "seductive in their ways, and they hold the finest sentiments. The Bohemian cannot be called a useful member of society." Throughout history, people have seemed reluctant to explain the phenomenon of the Bohemian.

Still, we feel obligated to enlighten you. It seems to us that the real Bohemian must contribuute more than mere color to this drab existence. The rigors of Bohemianism--which seem to involve both the physical pain of over-indulgence and considerable mental anguish (and even disorder)--surely do not make it a pleasurable state. One must assume, therefore, that a real Bohemian must have a purpose for his revolt. The actions of a real Bohemian must be useful to his own purpose, and if they are, he must certainly be a very happy man. Now, his purpose, or end, may by dypsomania, the socialist state, or worse. But he must have an end, and he must be happy.

The pseudo--or "sham"--Bohemian can only be regarded as a lost one. Perhaps his perversity is in a masochistic love for Bohemia's punishment. He will never be a real Bohemian because some day he will return to class-conscious society. In Mr. Brunner's athletic terms, he is indeed "a fake quick kick" against a society which will one day welcome him back as a Prodigal Son.

Now if you're sitting in Hayes-Bickford, Mr. Brunner, and you wonder whether that beard-and-sandals across the aisle is real, look to see if he has a smile on his face.--ED.