Martians Not Here Yet, Menzel States

The man who claims he has seen more "flying saucers" than anyone alive insists that the spatial phenomenon does not exist.

Donald H. Menzel, professor of Astrophysics, recently told a Canadian research group that whenever he spots a "flying saucer" he knows just what it is and it has never resembled an invasion from outer space.

"If the Martians come down here," Menzel said, "you will know it."

He added that among his "flying saucer" observations were: milkweed seeds and spider webs; sun reflections on weather balloons and sunblown tinsel paper.