News
Harvard Quietly Resolves Anti-Palestinian Discrimination Complaint With Ed. Department
News
Following Dining Hall Crowds, Harvard College Won’t Say Whether It Tracked Wintersession Move-Ins
News
Harvard Outsources Program to Identify Descendants of Those Enslaved by University Affiliates, Lays Off Internal Staff
News
Harvard Medical School Cancels Class Session With Gazan Patients, Calling It One-Sided
News
Garber Privately Tells Faculty That Harvard Must Rethink Messaging After GOP Victory
Rumors that the Foreign Students' center has shifted quarters to Claverly spread like wildfire yesterday with the appearance of strange, oriental inscriptions on the building's walls. Long a visual sounding board for polylingual dilettantes, the wall has been bare since last year.
Worried as to the propriety of the esoteric scripts, a delegation from the Watch and Ward Society arrived to check up on the situation (see cut). The Society was unable to arrive at any conclusions. This was due to the fact that the only person who could translate the various inscriptions spoke only Sanskrit.
In an effort to ease the minds of the anxious, Crimeds intend to comb the College for translations of the texts. Entries should be turned in at the CRIMSON building at 14 Plympton St., in envelopes marked "Lampoon Parody."
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.