"FAR ABOVE THE RIVER CHARLES. . . CORNELLIAN ANSWERS HARVARD SKEPTIC'S QUERIES"

A prominent front-page headline in Friday's Harvard CRIMSON referred to Cornell, graciously enough, as the "Frontier of the Ivy League." Rather a concession for the Harvard boys, at that.

For, the one thing all Harvard boys seem to have in common is their misconception of the average Cornellian, who is pictured as a gross, hairy creature dressed in an FFA jacket, a week's growth of beard and a pair of green suede shoes.

Although these opinions may well be somewhat distorted, there is no way on earth in which you can tell a Harvard man "Taint so," and have him believe you.

So it was with a mixed feeling of revenge and morbid curiosity that we put sociological tactics to use in determining how the Harvard element would react if suddenly placed in our shoes (green suede). Donning our best overalls we approached ten or eleven of the more proper looking specimens up for the football game and rendered an oral examination consisting of one question: "Are you from Harvard A & M?"

A survey of the most common replies was prepared by a trained staff and a portion of it reads as follows:

Q. Say there, Feller, you-all from Harvard A & M?

A. I beg your pardon?

Q. Hey, Buddy, are you and all them other gazeboos up from Harvard A & M?

A. Oh, REALLY:

Q. Pardon me, there, young man, but ascertaining from your dress I should hazard an estimate that you matriculate at Harvard A & M, am I correct?

A. You Mid-Westerners are all alike.

Q. Hi, Cats. Just get in form Harvard A & M?

A. A & M? A & M? Oh--You must mean American Mainline!

Q. Well, guys, hows things up at old Harvard A & M?

A. Now, William, this is the kind of young man they warned us about. Just ignore him and he'll go away.

Our staff had to record the remaining reactions as "No comment." Some of them were unfit for publication in a family newspaper, but in the majority of cases the offended individual merely stared at us much as a pinched female Saltonstall might regard a drunken male Murphy, and stalked off muttering something about public education going too far. Reprinted in entirety from the Cornell Daily Sun, October 11