A Solution to the Drum Problem

The big drum is silent. Nothing seems very worth while any more. Remember when it used to compete with the Lowell House bells for sound and impracticality? Those were the days. Now its frame is rotting, the cowhide rips, and down at Soldiers Field, spectators no longer think thunder showers are coming.

Sure, everyone says, well why not buy a new one? But did you ever see a cow with thirty square feet of flawless hide? Some of us have, but we know they are few and far between. Maybe one cow in a million could turn the trick, if that. And who would want to leave Cambridge to go out looking for exceptional cows? Who would be emphasized enough to go out and get something to incite Harvard's be emphasized football teams. The answer, of course, is nobody.

But, on the other hand, who wouldn't like to see a livestock show in the Yard? The Athletic Association could send out bulletins announcing that a very high price would be paid for the biggest and best cow to pass though the Yard gates. University Hall and Sever, with very little alteration, could be made very comfortable for the bovine species. And Memorial Hall would be a natural for the overflow.

Once the best cow had been selected by a special Student Council Committee, the honor of buying it would be determined by open bidding among all organized activities and clubs at Harvard, supervised by members of the Athletic Association and a special student Council Committee. Then in a great ceremony, the winning cow would be paraded around Soldier's Field, given three rousing cheers, and be sent off to the tanning factory, soon to return.