The Graduate's Plight

A Harvard grad's life is a frustrating plight.

By his pre-College friends he can never do right.

If his greeting is chilly, like Captain to gob,

They knew all the time he'd turn into a snob."

But let him be friendly--he's open to cracks

Like "There goes the socialite--slapping our backs."

If his suits are from Brooks and his ties from J. Press

It's quite clear, of course, that he's out to impress.

But a two-button drape from the Robert Hall racks

Starts a series of "Trying-to-be-one-of-us?" cracks.

If he drinks, "Harvard's made him a sheer alcoholicl"

If not, his host thinks him a boor, vitriolic.

If he lands a good job, "Prestige pulled him through."

If refused, he's a "fake whose false front was seen through."

If he some day amasses a healthy estate,

It's because he was born on a large silver plate.

Oh, the life of a Grad is a frustrating plight.

By his pre-College friends he can never do right.

But relax '53, do whatever you choose . . .

You've still got yourselves and the Alumni News.