Substitute for Milk

Milk is the staple of the scholastic diet. No food seems quite so aesthetically and physically moving, with its symbolic purity, smooth digestibility, and excellent properties for soothing the intestinal queasiness of a hangover. In fact, while it was with us, students had to be implored to restrain themselves to two glasses a meal. That is why the impending shortage due to a strike poses a grave problem for the University.

Neither coffee nor tea (with or without ice) can take milk's place. There is but one beverage that can both nourish and quench thirsts. Its use would be a triumph for the forces of gracious living. A hearkening to the academic customs of our forefathers, its reinstitution would find endorsal both in hoary tradition and the hearts of undergraduates.

Mr. Heaman, in our need let us have beer. Not only would beer fill the gap, but a blessing in disguise, its use might well introduce a new era in dining hall student relations.