News
Summers Will Not Finish Semester of Teaching as Harvard Investigates Epstein Ties
News
Harvard College Students Report Favoring Divestment from Israel in HUA Survey
News
‘He Should Resign’: Harvard Undergrads Take Hard Line Against Summers Over Epstein Scandal
News
Harvard To Launch New Investigation Into Epstein’s Ties to Summers, Other University Affiliates
News
Harvard Students To Vote on Divestment From Israel in Inaugural HUA Election Survey
Women need never be widows if they follow the instructions of Earnest A. Hooton, professor of Anthropology.
They can easily avoid widowhood by 1) cremating themselves on their husband's funeral pyre; 2) contributing to the heart fund (in order to help cure the greatest destroyer of middle-aged males); 3) refusing to nag their husbands, or 40) marrying men younger than themselves.
Hooton made these suggestions yesterday after a United Press editor asked whether science could stop women from becoming widows. There are nearly seven million widows in the United states, but only about two million widowers-a situation which exists because women live longer than men, but usually marry men older than they are.
Hence, Hooton felt that the fourth suggestion, that women marry young men, is the simplest and most practical.
"If men could only reconcile themselves to the mother-son relationship, which, as a matter of fact, is likely to provably anyhow in successful marriages ... then it would be quite practicable for women of mature years to marry child husbands," he was quoted as saying.
Hooton said that it would be better for women of about 25 years to marry the "sub-adult males of 19 or 20." However, he added, "this might impose too much of a strain upon female continence and lead to trial marriages or male concubinage. Some would regard such a result as socially undesirable."
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.