News
Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor Talks Justice, Civic Engagement at Radcliffe Day
News
Church Says It Did Not Authorize ‘People’s Commencement’ Protest After Harvard Graduation Walkout
News
‘Welcome to the Battlefield’: Maria Ressa Talks Tech, Fascism in Harvard Commencement Address
Multimedia
In Photos: Harvard’s 373rd Commencement Exercises
News
Rabbi Zarchi Confronted Maria Ressa, Walked Off Stage Over Her Harvard Commencement Speech
Women need never be widows if they follow the instructions of Earnest A. Hooton, professor of Anthropology.
They can easily avoid widowhood by 1) cremating themselves on their husband's funeral pyre; 2) contributing to the heart fund (in order to help cure the greatest destroyer of middle-aged males); 3) refusing to nag their husbands, or 40) marrying men younger than themselves.
Hooton made these suggestions yesterday after a United Press editor asked whether science could stop women from becoming widows. There are nearly seven million widows in the United states, but only about two million widowers-a situation which exists because women live longer than men, but usually marry men older than they are.
Hence, Hooton felt that the fourth suggestion, that women marry young men, is the simplest and most practical.
"If men could only reconcile themselves to the mother-son relationship, which, as a matter of fact, is likely to provably anyhow in successful marriages ... then it would be quite practicable for women of mature years to marry child husbands," he was quoted as saying.
Hooton said that it would be better for women of about 25 years to marry the "sub-adult males of 19 or 20." However, he added, "this might impose too much of a strain upon female continence and lead to trial marriages or male concubinage. Some would regard such a result as socially undesirable."
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.