News

Community Safety Department Director To Resign Amid Tension With Cambridge Police Department

News

From Lab to Startup: Harvard’s Office of Technology Development Paves the Way for Research Commercialization

News

People’s Forum on Graduation Readiness Held After Vote to Eliminate MCAS

News

FAS Closes Barker Center Cafe, Citing Financial Strain

News

8 Takeaways From Harvard’s Task Force Reports

College-Crowd Lankier Today Than Once or Beds Shrinking

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Word came yesterday that the College population is growing--anthropologically speaking. An increasing demand for seven-foot beds has been noted over the last several years, according to an official spokesman.

When reached for comment last night, Earnest Hooton, professor of Anthropology, told the CRIMSON he considered the move a "perfectly logical proposition." People are getting bigger all the time, he said.

In order to save the University considerable expense, however, Hooton suggests: "let the students lie diagonally."

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags