Freshman Guinea Pigs

At their first unforgettable meeting, this year's freshmen were told they had a great deal of knowledge, but that they would shortly lose it. This, the sages explained, is how Harvard has acquired its vast storehouse of learning. It is obvious, then, that the freshman sets the pattern for the entire University. At other institutions the frosh is frowned upon as the lowest form of invertebrate, but not so here.

Recently, however, several things have puzzled and confused him. Carefully calculating the number of $90 rooms in each House, the number of "cums" in each field of concentration, and the most fool proofway of establishing foreign citizenship-he has not seen the posters nor heard the ticket hucksters advertise his Spring Dance. Only fifteen tickets were sold, so last Saturday's affair was called off.

But this is not surprising. During the last fortnight his confusion has been built into delirium. Every night at dinner two giant speakers blare weird music at him. It is the music that is distracting his mind. It is the music that is making the milk sours and the spoons disappear. It is a violation of most fundamental human rights to dignity, and peace, and privacy.

When the Union Executive Committee meets tonight, it should observe one minute of silence-heavenly silence-and it will be convinced.