News

Summers Will Not Finish Semester of Teaching as Harvard Investigates Epstein Ties

News

Harvard College Students Report Favoring Divestment from Israel in HUA Survey

News

‘He Should Resign’: Harvard Undergrads Take Hard Line Against Summers Over Epstein Scandal

News

Harvard To Launch New Investigation Into Epstein’s Ties to Summers, Other University Affiliates

News

Harvard Students To Vote on Divestment From Israel in Inaugural HUA Election Survey

Earnest I. Sligh Peddles Hot News

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Out of the night came Earnest I. Sligh, his swarthy, leering face hidden by the velvet lapel of his midnight-blue cloak. He slithered into the CRIMSON and darted into the hall closet. "Shhh," he hissed to the managing editor.

"I have certain information which indicates that you are looking for someone with information on Saturday's football game," he hissed again. "I believe I have that information."

"Where did you get it?"

"Don't ask. Just don't ask. Secret information is my business.

Remember the stolen papers?"

"You?"

"What do you require for the Holy Cross score?"

"One bag of gold."

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags