News

Harvard Grad Union Agrees To Bargain Without Ground Rules

News

Harvard Chabad Petitions to Change City Zoning Laws

News

Kestenbaum Files Opposition to Harvard’s Request for Documents

News

Harvard Agrees to a 1-Year $6 Million PILOT Agreement With the City of Cambridge

News

HUA Election Will Feature No Referenda or Survey Questions

Flying Seer Grounded on Ellis Isle; Zombie Stranded by McCarran Act

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

NEW YORK, N. Y., Oct. 26--Federal authorities today clapped Rumin Coak onto Ellis Island, claiming that the ashen-faced CRIMSON near could not enter the United States under the McCarran anti-subversives act.

With Coak held incommunicado, panic-stricken Crimeds were again at a loss to find a prognosticator for tomorrow's game. They have just 24 hours left.

James R. Gleason, assistant Chief of Customs for the Port of New York, pointed out that Cock was burned for wizardry in 1874 at his Haitiau villa. "Haiti may have been totalitarian in 1874," said Gleason, "for all we know."

Even on the flight from Port-AuPrince, Coak amazed reporters with his powers of divination. He prognosticated that the ceiling at Idlewild Airport would be 800 feet, which turned out to be wrong by only a yard and a half.

With the eight-foot zombie were all his worldly possessions: a hollow palmetto trunk tuned to b flat, a bulbous cast-iron kettle, three Hopalong Cassidy dolls and a package of insect-mounting pins, and a shrunken cannibal head, his own.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags