Evil-Eye Proctors

After four months of vigorous academic endeavor, the perspiring undergraduate should be allowed to scribble out his final examination in an atmosphere of monastic calm. But unfortunately for the piece of mind he is trying to set down coherently in his bluebook, the exam proctors' activities are too often distracting. Proctors parade up and down the aisles, and frequently peer intently over the undergraduate shoulder, and when the undergraduate eye moves wearily around the room for a brief rest, it encounters the fierce, accusing glare of these vigilantes.

A careful check for possible cribbing seems to be necessary in this imperfect world. Over-zealous watchmen, however, who apparently feel they have not earned their pay unless they prowl the premises like Sam Spades, do more harm than good. They appear to hold the belief that every student has spent the term laying elaborate plans for skulldudgery on the final exam. Such an attitude is contrary to the "innocent until proven guilty" standard of common law,--and it is like the Chinese water torture for exam-writers, who are demonstrably the jumpiest of humans.

The valuable proctor is the discreet proctor, who remains wary but unobtrusive. He will preferably sit silently in some advantageous spot, or if he must walk, proceed on egg-shells, like a friendly phantom. He will also refrain from stage whispers with his colleagues. Indeed, the prevalence of inter-proctor communication has raised doubts that the College needs so many of these hirelings. But assuming that all proctors are necessary, it is hardly too much to ask that they be carefully instructed to act like guardian angels, instead of hotel detectives.