Vassar Says 'No' To Eli Beckoning

Unsettled, unhappy, and unnerved, 750 impotent Yale undergraduates this week begged the Vassar hierarchy to send them a few girls for their Derby Day weekend on May 1. In a matronly gesture, President Blanding of Vassar had previously restricted her charges to campus for the duration of the Eli bacchanalia.

In Cambridge, a Jubilee spokesman commented curtly, "Harvard has been unaffected."

Belabouring the English language with characteristic unconcern for accuracy, the Yale petition slyly referred to their nefarious weekend as "time-honored." Miss Blanding was undeceived. The Vassar girls will stay put.