Devil Must Wait As Wizards Seek Sacrificial Doves

An acute shortage of white doves in and around Boston has forced two students to cancel a series of experiments in black magic.

Enthusiastically interested in the black arts, Jasper Symmes '52 last month convinced Jasper McKee '51 to aid him in an extensive survey of metaphysics. The first real experiment, scheduled for this week, was to be an attempt to make contact with the devil. Symmes explained that the ritual involved drinking the blood of a white dove at midnight on a windswept field.

"The dove has to pure white," McKee explained, "and it's better if it is a stormy night," Drawing their information from a collection of books cached away in Widener Library, they felt they could settle a whole slew of metaphysical questions with one crucial test.

Both students admitted that the devil might not appear, but stated that they would still hold out hope if a few warts disappeared soon after, Now, unable to locate a white dove, they are temporarily stymied.

Seven individual poultry dealers in the metropolitan area have explained that white doves are getting harder and harder to find. One merchant, sorely pressed by the two experimenters, admitted that "the white dove market isn't what it used to be."

As a last attempt, both Symmes and McKee were trying to locate several poultry dealers in and around Salem late last night. "People up there will help us," they claimed.