News

Harvard Medical School Cancels Student Groups’ Pro-Palestine Vigil

News

Former FTC Chair Lina Khan Urges Democrats to Rethink Federal Agency Function at IOP Forum

News

Cyanobacteria Advisory Expected To Lift Before Head of the Charles Regatta

News

After QuOffice’s Closure, Its Staff Are No Longer Confidential Resources for Students Reporting Sexual Misconduct

News

Harvard Still On Track To Reach Fossil Fuel-Neutral Status by 2026, Sustainability Report Finds

Green Terrorist Strikes Fear in Hub Chiropodist

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

As unperturbed Harvard men went calmly about their business last night, a banner-waving, authentic Green Terror checked in at a downtown Boston hotel.

He was the first of a throng of Western Maryland boosters that hotel-owners estimated would reach 55 by game-time this afternoon. In preparation for the season's inaugural, Hub hotels announced that they would not remove furniture and breakables from their lobbies.

Chiropodists in convention at one of the hostelries were caught flat-footed by the influx. "I think that these new ankle-length skirts are dangerous to foot-health," newly-elected president Max Fessendon muttered archly.

Meanwhile, at Westminster, Western Maryland, college officials pondered the fate of a doughty band of 27 undergraduates reported about 13 miles east of Hartford and 30 miles from the Massachusetts border. Earlier, four-and possibly five-of the group were eliminated from the northward trek by truck.

At the rate this valiant band of pilgrims was traveling, it was estimated that they would reach Cambridge no earlier than 5 o'clock this afternoon.

Very early this morning, the Charles River appeared calm. A passing ship's captain attributed this to the flatness of the water.

However, Cambridge police were preparing parking traps to discourage out-of-state car owners from trying.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags