Females Converge to Cause Alarm as Biologists Probe

Bursting a biological bombshell over the Cambridge academic scene, the '50 Jubilee Committee, in a special bulletin issued last night at the Union, disclosed that "Friday afternoon (May 9) girls from all over the country will converge."

Consternation was widespread among the Faculty and students of the Medical School as a result of the announcement. Lucius J. Lucius, professor of Biology, termed converging "a rare physiological phenomenon among women that I have observed only in isolated cases among the Indians of the upper Amazon region."

"Hell, no, that's the wrong idea!" boomed Rafael Cheviot Schmegegghi, professor of Obstetrics, when he heard that the phenomenon was to take place at the beginning of the Jubilee weekend.